


half past the point of no return

by Snacky



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, asoiaf rarepair secret santa, giftfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 21:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17191046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snacky/pseuds/Snacky
Summary: Arthur Dayne makes his way past the point of no return.





	half past the point of no return

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ofwickedlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofwickedlight/gifts).



> For ofwickedlight, who wanted some Arthur/Jaime. More pre-slash than slash, but there's a slow burn going on. ;) I hope you like it!

It's not easy to leave the Tower of Joy. There are arguments when he tells each of his companions his intention. 

The Lord Commander is disappointed in him, threatens to dismiss him from the Kingsguard, and only relents when Arthur points out that despite Rhaegar's plans, Aerys is still King, and that Jaime Lannister is the only Kingsguard left in King's Landing. They're all here at this cursed Tower, because they've sworn allegiance to Rhaegar, as the new and true King of Westeros, because they're protecting his unborn child. Their other brothers are fighting by Rhaegar's side, and Jaime alone remains sworn to Aerys, to protect him, and to carry out his wishes.

It's not a good situation. In fact, it's a recipe for disaster, and Ser Gerold knows it as well as Arthur does, judging by the look on his face, when he finally relents. He doesn't give Arthur permission to depart — instead he just nods and turns away, muttering how the best time to travel will be at night.

He's right, of course, and Arthur thanks him for the advice. He'd planned to ride by night in any case — still, having the Lord Commander say it is as close as Arthur will come to having his blessing, and he'll take it.

Oswell is angry, but really more disappointed, it seems, that he hadn't thought of leaving first. He's tired of being here, tired of "this nonsense guarding Rhaegar's wolf-girl" (although he's very careful not to say that within Lyanna's earshot — despite his gruff words, Arthur knows as well as anyone how fond Oswell's grown of Lyanna Stark in the last few months). He wants to be where the action is, wants to ride to Rhaegar's side, and fight beside their new king and their brothers in the field.

Arthur understands. There's a part of him that wants that as well, wants to let Dawn loose, hear his beautiful, terrible sword sing as he wields it against the the rebels, as he cuts down the men who dare to oppose Rhaegar Targaryen. It would truly be easier than what he plans, than the mess that he's sure is waiting for him in King's Landing. But Arthur's half past the point of no return already, and he doesn't intend to change his course.

Oswell is angry and disappointed, true enough, but he gives in easily. He's obedient (and aren't all Kingsguard the same, Arthur thinks bitterly. Perhaps if they weren't so obedient, perhaps if one of them had taken action, had go ne to Rhaegar sooner, had remembered they were knights and not _just_ Kingsguard — perhaps the Seven Kingdoms wouldn’t be trapped in this bitter war.

Lyanna weeps. Lyanna weeps and begs Arthur to take her with him, take her away from this place, take her home, take her anywhere as long as it isn’t here. 

It breaks his heart, and he can’t say he’s not tempted. The girl is in misery over her part in all that has happened, and as loyal as he is to Rhaegar, Arthur is angry with him too, for dragging the girl into this, for not taking action when he needed to, for what he’s done to the Princess Elia and their children. 

Arthur would like to take her, far away from this miserable, mis-named tower, take her anywhere that she will be safe and cared for. But his brothers are here, and they will protect her and the child, and soon, if the gods are good, Rhaegar will return to her and triumph, ready to start the next stage of his plan.

He can’t help Lyanna Stark. Not now. Not when there are others that are in desperate need of his help.

*************

Before he leaves, he sends a raven. There’s no maester in the tower, but there’s a boy — gods know where Rhaegar found him — a young lad who can’t read or write himself, but knows the care of the ravens, and how to send them on with a message. Arthur writes his note carefully, and gives to the boy to send on to Starfall.

He rides away from the Tower of Joy under the cover of night. He’s not wearing his armor, or his white cloak — even in the dark, they’d be a sure giveaway. Dawn is strapped to his back, and he’s packed only what he needs for a few days. He’s riding through Dorne on his way to King’s Landing, and he’s a Dayne of Starfall. The Dornish people will help him, Kingsguard or no, and Arthur is counting on their kindness and generosity to see him through on the journey.

He doesn’t look back when he rides away, not once. He’s all to glad to have the place behind him, and now he needs to look forward, to concentrate on the ones he needs to save — Princess Elia and the children, and his young brother Jaime Lannister.

*************

Arthur thinks of Jaime as he rides along the dusty roads, cool and quiet under the cloak of night. He thinks of Jaime when he rests during the days, dozing fitfully under the hot sun.

It’s their faults — his and King Aerys’ — that Jaime is part of this madness. Arthur knighted the boy after the valor and bravery he’d shown during the campaign against the Kingswood Brotherhood. The lad was quick and strong and clever, smirking to himself as he took men apart. But he was brave, saving Lord Crakehall and crossing swords with the Smiling Knight. And when he knelt before Arthur, his green eyes were shining with pride.

And then Aerys had raised him to the Kingsguard, which had Arthur bitterly regretting knighting the boy. The whole court knew the truth — Jaime was a hostage, a Kingsguard in name, chosen by King Aerys to keep Lord Tywin in line.

Jaime knew it too, and Arthur had seen the misery in those green eyes when he stood aside as the king committed atrocity after atrocity, each worse than the one previous. Arthur knew the conflict in Jaime’s heart, because it was in his own. But Arthur was a man grown, and Jaime still a lad for all that he was a knight and brother of the Kingsguard.

He’d begged Arthur to take him along the night before Arthur departed with Rhaegar. Arthur had wanted to, wanted to rescue him from the hell that was Kings Landing. But he had been firm, reminding Jaime that his duty was to the King, and that he must do as Rhaegar had requested, and protect Princess Elia and the children. Jaime had been disappointed, but had covered with a smirk and a toss of his head.

But then Arthur had made a promise. “I’ll return for you, Jaime. I know it’s difficult to stay behind, but no matter how long it takes, how bad it gets, don’t think that you’ve been forgotten. I’ll return, I promise.”

He had been rewarded for that impulsive promise by the relief on Jaime’s face and the equally impulsive hug he’d found himself caught in. The young Lannister was impulsive, and often acted before he thought, but Arthur didn’t mind this, Jaime in his arms, the two of them sharing a long embrace. When they’d finally separated, Jaime’s expression had changed, from relief to something Arthur couldn’t name, but he imagined it equaled the longing in his own heart.

Arthur had left with Rhaegar the next day, and was relieved for many reasons — to finally be riding to action, to be able to _do_ something, and because of Jaime. He hated leaving the lad behind, to Aerys and all his madness. 

But longing for him — that was equally as mad. Whatever Arthur might be feeling, whether Jaime longed for him or not — they were Kingsguard, and there was no room in their lives for this kind of fanciful nonsense.

Still, with every mile he gets closer to King’s Landing, Jaime is in his mind, that look on his face as he gazed at Arthur burned into his memory.

King’s Landing is a powderkeg, and Aerys is ready to light the match. Arthur only hopes he gets there in time to save Jaime from burning.

*************

In the end, he’s too late. 

Oh, he arrives to King’s Landing and the Red Keep before Tywin Lannister gets through the gates — Rhaegar has been his closet friend for years, and Arthur knows ways into the city and into the castle that very few people do. And with the help of Lord Varys, he’s able to spirit Princess Elia and the children away, to the ship waiting in the bay, the one he’d requested sent in his letter to Starfall. How Ashara had arranged it, he has no idea, but she’d do anything to help Elia, just as Arthur would. She is still a Princess of Dorne first, and Arthur is still loyal to her, and not just for Rhaegar’s sake.

But after Elia and the children are safely onboard, he goes to find Jaime, and he is too late.

Aerys is dead on the floor before the Iron Throne, and Jaime kneels before him, sword covered in blood. When Arthur enters, he looks up and the look on his face is unfamiliar to Arthur — there’s no smirk, no bravado, no anger. Not a spark in his green eyes or a quip on his lips. There’s only despair, and it makes Arthur hurry to get to the boy. 

“Come, Jaime, we must go,” he says, holding out a hand. He’ll get the boy out of the city with Elia and the children, take him to Dorne where they can meet up with Rhaegar. Jaime can’t be caught like this, his blade dripping with the blood of his king.

_Kingslayer._

At first, Arthur thinks he’s merely thought the word, but it’s a whisper from Jaime. “I did it, Arthur, I killed him.”

“I know.” He can’t imagine what drove Jaime to it, what final madness Aerys was about to indulge in before he was cut down, but he’ll learn. He’s sure of that. “Come now.” He grabs Jaime’s hand, pulling him to his feet. “We must go.”

“Go where?” And now there’s a bitter laugh spilling from Jaime’s lips, a touch of hysteria in it. “There’s no where to go. My father is outside the gates with his army. And you should kill me for what I’ve done.”

“Jaime.” Arthur takes him firmly by the shoulders, gives him a shake. “I’m not killing you, but we must go. Now. I’m taking you to safety.” He's not really sure if that's true, if there's a place in the Seven Kingdoms where Jaime Lannister will be safe after what he's done. Still, Arthur has said it, and he's way past the point of no return now.

Jaime doesn’t move though, just gazes at him with that same look on his face, the look that has haunted Arthur for so many months. It’s maddening now, though, and Arthur considers tossing Jaime over his shoulder if the boy won’t move. But Jaime speaks, and Arthur freezes.

“Why?”

There’s a hundred ways to answer that question, so many things Arthur wants to say and explain and beg forgiveness for. But there’s no time for that now, and it will have to wait. There’s only one thing he can say now. “I promised I’d return.”

At that, a smile lights up Jaime’s face, and his green eyes sparkle with wonder. “You did at that.” 

Arthur’s not sure why that’s enough to make Jaime move, but it is. As they hurry through the hidden passages in the Red Keep, Arthur knows his rash actions have bought himself a world of trouble, in so many ways. But whenever he glances at Jaime’s face, still smiling, he thinks that whatever trouble is to come here, here they are, past the point of no return, and Arthur doesn't want to look back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta! All remaining errors are my own!


End file.
